My journey began since I was a young child forced to grow up quickly due to experiencing abuse. I learned how to survive as my innocence was taken away from me. As I grew up my reality was very much in survival mode and I had major trust issues. I came from many generations of trauma and women fearing their own feminine energy. It was not until 2018 that my soul had enough of my disconnection to myself. 

 

At this time in my life, I was in an extremely toxic and abusive relationship. I was making decisions based on what others wanted of me and I found myself lost from any truth of who I was.

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This cycle carried on until I found myself face to face with my rock bottom. My toxic relationship abruptly ended, I became a single mom and I was flat broke and broken. This was the peak of my death & rebirth although I did not know it at the time.

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My life had gotten to this point because I did not know any different. I was so disconnected from the real me, I had anxiety, depression and PTSD.

 

At this point I could no longer afford to live this way..

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It took for me to loose just about everything of my old life to see truth. Divine mother had been calling out to me for some time but I was so deeply afraid to step into the unknown.. After carefully calculating everything just as I did often, I decided to give it one last shot. I cried from the depth of my soul and called out to god to help me. I called out to my ancestors and guides to lead me. I chose to finally surrender. Then surely, something miraculous happened... It started with one book 'Peace from Broken Pieces' By Iyanla Vanzant. This was the universe giving me a gentle push to keep on going. I felt as I myself wrote this book, "this woman is telling my story" I thought. Then the right teacher I needed appeared. Somehow a light began to appear in my darkness. I began healing my past and reprogramming my belief system about everything in life. It felt like a literal weight was lifted from me.

 

To my surprise life started to genuinely feel good for the first time in my life. I was not in flight or flight mode anymore. I began for the first time in my life to LIVE.

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It was this one significant part that changed everything- I chose to surrender my fear and illusions. I chose to look within for my answers my soul desperately needed. 

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And this is how my life began to transform into something beautiful

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As I began to welcome this beautiful divine feminine energy into my life, I began to see myself as whole & not just broken parts of a woman. I began a relationship with my womb & took time to nurture her. My pap smears came back as normal for the first time since age 16 and my painful menstrual cycles were healed. I learned that everything I had been chasing outside of myself was already inside of me. I AM whole. I AM love. I AM everything I need. I began to speak to myself in a kinder, more gentle tone filled with nutritious words. My shadow self was no longer bullying me. I became my number one support system instead of my number one hater. Most importantly I started to have fun in my life and felt present in the moment for the first time in my life

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Things in my life started to work out and I felt less and less resistance from life until one day it was 100% gone. We have to understand that spirit is always listening to us all the time, even when we feel like no one is listening to your thoughts, you can be assured source is present. I simply just chose to stop fighting and allow myself to be supported. The synchronicity of angel numbers and the people I was meeting was insane. It was all because I finally made the choice to rise into my worth and love myself by surrendering my need to please my ego. The universe simply mirrored that same love back to me. Life truly is what we make it.

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I share my story with you to restore hope and confirmation that you are not alone. Sometimes we try and try so hard and get the same results but one must ask him/herself am I using the same tools expecting new results? I understand what it is like to feel overwhelmed, stuck and unloved.  I know what its like to feel broken and disconnected to yourself. The good news is you no longer have to feel that way. The most painful choice we can make is to make none. You always have a choice.

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All My Love,

Erika Meremy